Why I Won't Vote

I was a little hesitant about sharing these specific thoughts,but became encouraged when I happened upon an essay of Dr. Dubois in The Nation 1956 called,“Why I won’t vote.”

There is a quote in the essay that resonated with me, and further illuminated my intellectual and political devotion to this man, whom I see as prophetic.

“I believe that democracy has so far disappeared in the United States that no "two evils" exist. There is but one evil party with two names, and it will be elected despite all I can do or say.”

I share this because I stumbled into a conversation one night with the president and her husband of the progressive foundation I work for, whom I'm also living with (until I find permanent housing), where ultimately I expressed these same sentiments(prior to seeing this quote), and felt like maybe I over shared. 

The president of the foundation was respectful, but said that ultimately we can not have someone like Romney in office. I agreed, of course, but I can’t in good conscious support the presidency of President Obama.  He has committed crimes against humanity that are unconscionable that we would never have accepted if he were a white president.

During the conversation, her husband shared that while they were on vacation in Maine,they attended an event where Senator Barney Frank  spoke and shared, despite the many critiques on Obama’s presidency we have to vote for him, and then the next day, hold his feet to the fire.

I appreciate that perspective and I’m glad that this will be the course of action for those who identify themselves as liberal or progressive, but it is not a stance I seek to take.

Like Dr. DuBois there is a need to express, live and fight for what is right, and evil is evil, lesser or not.

I’m not seeking to preach or take up a soapbox, I’m just sharing the thoughts that have dominated my mental space. 

After reading Dr. DuBois' essay I feel a sort of vindication, a solace that I am not alone in my disdain for this system, and more importantly that this is not a new analysis.  That this country's downward spiral is more in free fall then at it's beginning momentum.  We find ourselves at a pivotal moment in history where we can pull the strings on the proverbial parachute or we can propel eyes open unto the flat surface of annihilation. Initiating an open and intentional conversation about what life looks like in this country not dominated by a capitalistic model is necessary and immediate.  Serious analysis from a black perspective must be infused into the national conversation about where we are to go from here.  And I know no other voice that should lead this inquiry other than Dr. DuBois.  He is the greatest intellectual of the 19th and 20th century, and the evidence is proven every time you engage his work; the relavance of Dr. Dubois to the 21st century provides further proof that there is no one white or black who hold a candle to his genius.

I can go on for days about my allegiance to Dr. DuBois, but will stop here for now.

The fellowship is progressing well.  I am making hedge way in this data collection process, although I am feeling in my body a type of rebellion for sitting at a desk all day.  It's been three years since I've been confined to a desk; I was so much more active teaching yoga and gallivanting around the city, that now with most of my daylight hours glued to a computer screen and my body ill contoured to a desk and chair just feels real icky and achy, but oh well, I will adjust.  It will be the excuse I need to find a masseur and acupuncturist.

I’m moving into my new apartment next weekend, and will need to go back to Philly next weekend so I will stay put up here in New England and go exploring for the holiday weekend.  I found what looks to be an interesting festival called Stone Soul Festival in Springfield that I am going to; they serve free eggs, grits, and bacon on Saturday morning!!!

I feel my acclimation to this area is happening slowly but surely.  My adventure to Maine this weekend was much needed!!!  My former landlady in New Orleans, Liberty Rashad, who I’ve adopted as my godmother has a family home in Maine.  It sits on an island in the middle of a lake;it was a humbling experience to wake up each morning and be completely at the mercy of natures most powerful, yet peaceful asset, water.
I’m not completely sure why water has such a presence in my life right now (Proteus is named after a water deity), but I am very willing to sit and be open to what it has to reveal to me.

Please remember the people of the Gulf Coast in your prayers.  Liberty was sharing before Isaac hit, that this was a very rainy summer.  So the ground in NOLA is already quite saturated, and they are getting up to 30 hours of continuous rain with this storm.  It’sso weird that Katrina happened 7 years to this day, and now this.  There is something to say about the resiliency and love of a people that choose to stay in a space that nature seeks to destroy.  Not sure what that is; eitherthey’re crazy or so committed to maintaining the sanctity of that space (after living down there, and wanting to eventual settle there, I know it’s the latter).

I'm rambling so I'll end here.   Enjoy the breathe; until next time...

Peace and love

P.S. If anyone is interested here is the link to Dr. DuBois’essay, Why I won’t vote.
http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/45a/298.html

Beginner's Mind

Wish I could take a picture of my desk right now to show you how acclimated I have made myself to this space.  This is not a great thing because I seem to take up a lot of space (good thing I have an office). 

I have a few books here (Black Reconstruction in America (of course), the Soul of Rumi, and Ella Baker and the Black Freedom Movement), my Sony boombox radio that I have had since I was 13 (I need my NPR), a dictionary, and the vase of flowers I got on my first day (love, love, love Proteus staff).  Amongst all these things is a growing liter of papers, reports, and publications.

The concept of  a self-managed work style is something I have not quite managed very well.  I am literally left to my own devices.  This is definitely a gift and a curse.  I will be very honest, I have been on facebook more than a little bit, and have highly considered deactivating my account to prevent me from engaging in this professionally destructive habit.  Although I think I would feel less guilty if it was LinkedIn that I keep open on my desktop (which I still need to set up an account).

This place is a major practice of self control and discipline; from the sweets and carbohydrates to the autonomy of work styles.  Self-managing my time and productivity is a challenge that I am conscious that I need to master, but I don’t feel completely competent in.  It is a challenge that I have come to accept I will not be able to overcome, at least not cold turkey.  I’ll need constant support internally and externally to convenience myself that I can be highly productive as well as a free spirit (that stares off in space).

Hence the topic of this reflection, a beginners’ mind - I scheduled some time for myself and the previous fellow to sit and chat.  He has been given an extension by the president to stay and continue his job search for another month or so, so I have him at my disposal to assist me with navigating this space.  Although I have not taken full advantage of his genius I did today begin to scratch the surface.

It was wonderful; he is so insightful and very appreciative for this program.  He shared with me the importance of taking these first six months to fully immerse myself in understanding this field of work called philanthropy.  He shared valuable insider information on the work flow and style of the Proteus staff.  He affirmed for me, that Proteus Fund is where to be; “it is on the cutting edge of philanthropy, funding collaborative are the future of philanthropy.”  He also reminded me to enjoy the moment and to embark upon this experience with a beginners’ mind. 

“There are a lot of things you will not know, and are not expected to know.  And if you come in here seeking to master it in six months, or two days, then what is it are you seeking to learn?” (Trellis is my new guru!!!!)

And so I breathed, and breathed again, until I felt balanced enough to know that I will master this challenge and that that mastery will not take place in two weeks or even two months, but that I must be present and everyday commit myself to learning and producing one or two things that will progress me in this field.

I am still in housing limbo.  Meg and Stephen (Meg’s husband) are on vacation and are so gracious and sweet to allow me to stay at their place and house/cat sit.  I had a great lead on an apartment that I was confident was a done deal, but found out she had the condo on the market and the realtor sold it last week L

I overcame that little disappointment by getting back on the horse and followed another lead I had.  Made an appointment to see it this Friday, but have an unsettled feeling that it’s been rented since I can’t find the post on craigslist anymore. 

Trying not to be too discouraged, I followed up on another place, but it has a realtor’s fee.  Never in all my life have I ever had to pay someone to do what I’m doing already.  I have always been able to find my own apartment without going through a realtor; well I guess there is a first for everything.  I’m just constantly reminding myself to breathe and be present.  There is not an immediate rush, and all I need is one apartment to live in, and when the right one comes it will be seamless and meant for me.

Despite my early diatribe about the work here at Proteus, it has been an amazing week!  I had an awesome training on grant making and lobbying at Proteus Fund, and phenomenal conversations with Meg and her husband about all things under the sun.  (Meg is so fabulous; she reminds me of how I could be at her age.  She is so thoughtful and considerate, and an avid student; I love her!!!!)

I went to Philly last weekend to get my cat, and Shanti (my cat) has adjusted himself quite beautifully.  A little surprised since in our previous last two moves he was not as agreeable.  He and Toey (Meg's 19year old cat) have had very minimum interactions.  The one time they engaged each other there was a lot of hissing and Shanti’s tail expanded! 

I have had a chance to explore Northampton a bit; I went yesterday to a lecture at Smith College.  Let’s just say all intellectuals are not created equal…

This has gotten a little long, but definitely helpful for me.  Look forward to talking to you all soon, and I hope you are being present and enjoying this amazing moment!!!

Peace and love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Black People Should Be Calling for Socialism (the series)

So I'm ready to officially say it. Yes, I admit I was a republican; a free market capitalist republican.

And today because of some praying parents I can affirm that I no longer suffer from that virus. Maybe some folks might think I have acquire another more deadlier virus when I reveal my next thoughts, but such is life.

You might have already figured it out by the title of this post, but I believe and can support this position with the words and analysis of one of humanities' greatest scholars, Dr. W. E. B. DuBois, that, "socialism will grow in the United States if we restore...democracy...here is where Negroes may and must lead."

I'm reading a pamphlet I found at the IAC office call "The class roots of racism," by David Perez (workers world library, 1989) and it is explaining the orgins of capitalism and the necessity of socialism. Now as I read this, I begin to ascertain that Mr. Perez's position is that socialism must be achieved first before racism can be eliminated. My warning bells go off, "Race First, race first!!!!" always and forever. So I'm questioning his position.

Now he shares that Cuba is a strong example of a Socialist nation that has abolished racism in its constitution. Okay. So racism is not practiced institutionally, but psychologically racism is still quite alive and well in the social constructs of Cuban life (white is still always right...). And this is just as detrimental as institutional racism. So still we must tackle the issue of race in order to dissolve the system of class and capitalism.

I start reflecting on why I'm challenging this position Perez has taken, and then I think, "what if black folks started publicly questioning capitalism, and at minimum started studying and theorizing on the benefits of socialism?"

Hmmmmmm....

Yeah, this could be interesting...if you have black folks calling for more socialist policies and laws, then at minimum you begin to draw out the residual sick psychological elements of racism still embedded even in the most liberal hippies. Can these young white progressive hip-hop loving white folks get behind a black leadership calling for free education, living wage jobs, and free health care? Can they be led by black folks who challenge the police state that terrorize black communities like the Palestinians who are being terrorized in Gaza? Can non-black and even black people support a black leadership that calls for the end of capitalism?

I mean, if anyone should be calling for the end of capitalism it has to be black folks!!! We are living examples of the inherent ills of capitalism. Capitalism thrived and grew under the institution of chattel slavery; a super-exploitative system that stole some of the most skilled laborers in the world's labor and production, and never replenished it!

I mean it's gangsta for real when you make folks work for you, for free, for 400 hundred years, and in the last 50 years you've got them all damn-near convinced that this is the system they want to promote and live under. Damn, that is game!

We are smarter than that good people. We - Black Folks, Negroes - survived the very worst experiment in capitalism, chattel slavery; we are the perfect examples to the world of the human spirit, and our ability to survive the most destructive dehumanizing experience in all of humanity.

Let the words of our ancestors serve as our mantra in this fight to destroy capitalism;

"power concedes nothing without demand" (Fredrick Douglass)

"...and for their thousand blows deal one deathblow!" (Claude McKay)


Peace and love

A note to an old love...

I'm human and flawed and make mistakes and don't know everything and get scared and all those things. But I also know I was not strong enough for both of us, I could barely handle things on my own, so for self perservation I had to do what I knew to do to survive. I have an expectation of a relationship, for right or wrong, my example has been my parents and my daddy does everything and I was not necessarily expecting that from you solely but at the point where I felt unprotected I jumped ship.  Again in hindsight not the best thing for us and our relationship but just being honest. But I did love you, like I've never loved a man before, and I wanted us to work, but it just was not the right time. I do believe that you are a good person with a great heart and will defend you to the end, but our coming together at that time was not aligned and I am thankful for not pushing it and letting go when I did; its not what I wanted at that time but it was what I needed. I had a hard, hard, hard year last year when we broke up; not a moment of rest, but I pushed forwarded and I perservered and I am at a place that i want and need to be, but I'm human and i still miss our bond.  Maybe I will be so lucky and find someone else who makes me feel like you made me feel and more, but until then I am on my grind. It's lonely yes, but it is where I'm suppose to be. So ultimately I say this to say, I've done what I'd hoped I would never do, I chose career over love; I chose me over us...